Never give up...

I will never give up hoping and wishing that Janet will find it in her heart to return to me. That is probably all it will ever be, a dream, but as long as I have it I have a reason to hope and go on living. This is not a blind love, it is a sincere strong real love. I have completely forgiven Jan for anything and everything. I love her so very much, that all that matters to me is her. Yes, I love my children and granddaughters, but it is an entirely different love. She has told me time and time again that she does not want to hurt me. I tell her the most honest truth, that is that only her staying away from me can hurt me. If she ever came back to me I would be the happiest man alive. I will wait, I don't care how old we both may be at the time, as long as she shares some of her life with me. If it never happens, well I will take that dream and hope with me to my grave. I need to be strong since I want to go on living and be here for her whenever she needs me for anything. I don't want anyone else in her place. No one could ever own my heart as she does. If you are reading this and thinking I am a fool, I must tell you that if you have ever felt the kind of love that I have for Jan, for anyone in your life, you would completely understand me. And if I am lucky enough to have Janet reading this, I truly hope you can see through everything that has happened in your life and realize that if given the chance I will devote my life to making you happy for the rest of your life. Please don't feel trapped by me or afraid to see me because of my feelings for you, I respect you and your wishes. I will not overwhelm you and drive you away. Yes, when you stop in to visit me. I will be very happy you are here, but I will not insist on you making decisions which you do not want or cannot make. As I said before I will wait forever and if forever just ends when I leave this earth, well at least I know you chose what and who made you happy, even if it was not me.