Just walking...

You Know I was thinking on how we all take things for granted when they are going well. This also includes relationships. We all do it and if someone says they don't or never have, they are a bold-faced liar.

I am not saying it is the right thing to do, it just happens that way. When things are going good we just go with the flow. We enjoy the fact they are going well. When we hit a snag in a relationship we then strive to correct it. Sadly, sometimes it is a case of too little too late. When we realize that we have lost someone we deeply love, need and want in our lives, they have gone in search of something and or someone else.

Well, that's life and we just need to face it and do the best we can with what we have left of our lives.

I want to switch now and talk about other things we take for granted simply cause they aren't an issue yet. I am talking about things we do naturally. Things like walking, talking, eating, laughing, reading, sight-seeing and so on.

I always loved to walk. I would walk with no destination in mind. I would walk just to walk and clear my mind. I believe that was my medication at the time. All I had to do was walk and I would feel better about myself or a situation. After I couldn't walk as freely as I had been used to because of my failing eye sight, I started to feel depressed, and eventually had to go on meds. There was really no reason for me to feel down, I just did. I missed my long walks. I missed going to stores just to look around. I missed seeing the different expressions on people's faces. I never realized how important walking was for me.

Today, I went to CVS to pick-up my blood pressure medication and as I walked I realized that my eyes were closed. Yes, I was walking with my eyes completely shut. You see, not so long ago, I was able to see the difference in the shades of brightness and shadows on the sidewalk, even though it was very dim, it was something. As I walked today I realized that I no longer see any difference in the shades of light otherr than a white-silver cloud for day and black for night. I could not see colors for a long time now, but being able to distinguish small differences in light would help me keep my orientation. WOW! How we take for granted just walking a straight line without having to think about it. I walked at a rapid pace before. Now I walk in a snails pace. I need to listen to everything around me so that I can walk relatively straight. I listen out for the slightess sounds to orient myself. I mean I even listen to the space between me and a building. Yes, the sound changes as you get closer or farther from the wall. I discovered today that I found it necessary to come to a complete stop when I could not hear any cars moving. I was using the sound of the cars to keep me moving in the correct direction. I discovered a whole new world of blindness today. I took it fairly well, I did not panic since I knew I would not solve anything by getting upset. I will need to continue to practice walking by myself. I won't lie and say it is not a scary ordeal, it is but this is the life I have been given and it is not going to change anytime soon. So, back to my topic, even the small things in life should not be taken for granted, since in the blink of an eye they can be taken from us.

I write this blog about my life as I have today, not to recieve pity or any special treatment, I do so, so that others can learn from my expieriences in life. I don't wish anyone to lose their eye sight or any of their faculties, but if you do, take heart, discover new ways to do things. And when you feel alone in the world and you start to question why you should even go on.... Do just that go on with life do the best you can with what you have. Take every opportunity to do something which makes you feel good about yourself. Laugh out loud even if others think your nutts. Do it for you! Believe me when I tell you, no one is going to come to your rescue just because you wish it to happen. You need to be strong and rely on yourself. Yes, I will be the first to admit that it is hard and many times a deep sadness comes over you because you wish things were different, well guess what? They aren't different, it is what it is. No one is going to give you any special treatment, so don't expect it. When You start depending on others you quickly become a burden to them. No one owes us anything. Do what you have to do and make the best of what you have been given to work with. May God bless us as we venture into the world just wanting to belong to someone and to have someone love us for who and what we are and have to offer...