I am learning...

Yes, I am still learning at the age of 55. The difference now is the way I look at things. I can honestly say that I know myself better than I did a few years ago. I know much more clearly what my breaking point is and I am better equipped emotionally to handle situations. In my personal life I know what I can control and what I cannot. Among the things I cannot and will not control are other peoples actions. Whether their actions, or for that matter inactions, have an effect on my life. I cannot control what people say or do, and I really don't want to anyway. I much rather spend my energy becoming the best person I can be, not only for myself, but for those around me who may look at me as an example in their lives. I have five granddaughters who I love very much and who love me in return. I am their grandpa and I know they look up to me and I WILL NOT! let them down as long as it is in my power. My youngest son is 24 and pretty much on his own, but also with him I am careful not to effect how he looks at me as his father. I hope to help him in anyway I can so he reaches his full potential. My other 3 children have made their own lives apart from mine and I am very proud of them, and I am very blessed that even though they have lives of their own they have allowed me to be a part of their lives and family.

People still do things which shock me and even hurt me, but I have a different way of handling those situations. I try to be as objective as possible and I try not to judge. I may not agree with certain things but I know enough to keep my thoughts to myself. If their is one thing I have learned in life it is the fact that you can speak to a person about anything at all, and if they choose to ignore you that is their choice, regardless of the cost. I would say one can speak til they are blue in the face and if the other person does not want to hear it, then you wasted much energy on nothing. That is where the difference has come in my life, I still try to help those who want or ask for my help, but I no longer volunteer my help or viewpoint when not asked to do so. It actually has made me a stronger person. I am much more in control of my thoughts and actions. I decide what is best for me, I no longer allow others decisions or lack there of, to affect how I will act. It is a work in progress, I must say, since I am often faced with situations which are not your normal life ones. Especially on those occasions do I need to be extra mindful of my reactions, since I know others are waitin to see how and if I will act. I have found that many times the best thing to do is to do nothing. If it is not something I can or care to control, it is best not to even try. This especially holds true when it comes to bad decisions or poor judgement on the part of others, this can be very touchy and it is best not to volunteer opinions or even to express "would haves" and "should haves." As I said, I am stronger and smarter now. I strive to live and let live. I am happy with my decisions and hope to continue on my course to self-improvement and I hope that with them I also reap peace and happiness.....

The Cubs?

Yes, I am a Sox fan, However, i had never been to Wrigley Field and when presented with the opportunity to go, well I just could not pass it up. My Son Anthony got some tickets and we watch the Cubs and Yankees play. The Cubs lost, but that really did not dampen the experience for me. It was really cool. All the people, close to 42k, were there to have fun. Since it was Fathers Day, there were many Dad's with there children, I was one of them. Now I can officially say I have been to a Cubs game.

I enjoy doing things with my children. Yeah, I know they arn't children anymore, but to me they always will be, and I will always be their Dad. I just hope I can live up to that title.

My time with them is unique, even if it is simply going shopping or for a ride. They are a part of me and I hope to always be a part of their lives. I know I talk a whole lot, and I even repeat myself a lot, but for the most part we have very intellectual conversations.

Anyway, I did enjoy the game and truly enjoyed being with Anthony. Today I come back to reality and I am once again a Sox fan. Interesting though how today the 20th. day of June, the Cubs and Sox are playing at The Cell. Oh, yeah I did...root for the Cubs!

Our quest for happiness...

I am by no means an expert on this subject, however, it is something I feel like blogging about. Anyone who knows me is aware that I do believe in love and I can be a romantic person. I say this because our quest for happiness most of the time involves love or a romantic encounter. What I have found is that many times we look in all the wrong places for the answers to our quest for happiness. Sadly we or someone else gets hurt. Sadly, this hurt is often times more than a physical pain. It is an emotional one which really tears us up.

I have found that while it is a beautiful thing to be romantically in love with someone, when it is not possible to be in a relationship with that person because they are involved with someone else, or simply don't want anything to do with us in a romantic way, we can and and should find happiness in our lives by seeking out those who do love and want to be with us. Granted this does not involve romance, since most of the time this happiness is found in our children or, if we are so blessed, in our grandchildren. But we can fill a very large void in our hearts if we reach out to those who love us back without conditions. We owe it to ourselves to find such genuine love. If we spend all our lives, especially if we are in our later years of life, looking for love and magical romance we may wake up one day and find that we let treasures in our life just get away because we were too busy in our quest for happiness in all the wrong places and with all the wrong people. Sometimes the one that can bring us true unconditionnal love has been in our lives the whole time, we just refuse to admit or accept it...