Venting our anger...

We all get angry from time to time. For some of us it is more often than for others. I am happy to say that my days of being angry all the time are long over. I have learned how to control myself. This I do both for myself and others.

One thing that really bothers me of certain people is how, or rather who they vent their anger on. By venting i don't mean the act of telling someone your problems with the hope that by doing so you will be able to handle the situation better. I am talking about venting by yelling or displaying anger over someone who is not the blame or reason for you feeling the way you do. I view these persons, who most of the time are children, as innocent victims. We really need to understand why and to whom our anger should be displayed to. It is a very dangerous thing not to do so. Until we face the reason and person for our negative feelings, we will not solve a thing and those around us will suffer. Adults will avoid you because they can, but childdren, especially your own children, will stay and take the mental and physical abuse because they have no choice. Actually they do have a choice but because of their age and innocense they don't realize it. It is actually a very sad thing when we attack the ones who can defend themselves the least.

Remember you can take on new adventures and try to hide your true feelings by inventing new things to do, but in reality you are just postponing the inevitable. You need to be honest with yourself and you must also be honest with the person or persons who you have an issue with. Believe me it is for the best. Not only for you, but for those innocent ones who are the ones quietly dealing with feelings they don't understand. It is so unfair to burden children with feelings of guilt when they are not responsible for any of our screwed-up life...

Do you need a reason?...

I was thinking of how families seem to only get together when the calendar suggest they do. You know, holidays and such. I wonder if back in history people invented such days just to have a reason to get together. I know that merchants really take advantage of the holidays and birthdays to promote their products. There are certain items which are difficult if not impossible to find when the holidays are gone. As an example, I love these butter cookies that come in a round tin container, they are delicious and only available during the Christmas holiday. There are certain candies which are only sold during Halloween. So certainly store owners enjoy the fact people look forward to celebrating the holidays.

The food enjoyed during the holidays is also very special. It seems that every ethnic group has a special dish or two for each particular holiday. I don't mind that at all since you can go to different restaurants and expect to find and array of choices.

Getting back to my main topic, do we really need special dates to get together? I don't think so, but trying to convince the majority would be very difficult. Maybe as the years go on someone will make a day for "Just Because,"" the greeting cards are already out there...

Dog days of winter...

Yeah, I know that it should read: Dog days of summer. But I think someone a long time ago missed the boat with this one. I say that because even with the heat, in the summer you can find so many things to occupy your time. While I find that these months of November and December are dog days. Not only is the weather crazy but you kinda start feeling the blues cause another year is almost over. And in my case, my birthday is in December, so I also become one year older.

I know that for many it is a hectic time with all the gift buying and celebrations so at least for them they have little to no time left for boredom.

I occupy my time on the internet, but lately it has gotten a little expensive, you see I have been buying old hats on Ebay. I made up my mind to stop! i am just looking for one greay one as my last purchase for a while. I hope I find it soon since it is driving me nuts. The good thing is that I had the money to spend so I have not run into trouble. I could though, so that is why I am going to stop.

I must get into the habit of walking again. I spend way too much time indoors. I just have to muster-up enough courage to do so. No, I am not afraid of people, I worry about not finding my way back home. But, the more I think of it, I know I can do it. I have many other times. And even when I have gotten lost, it always turns out ok.

Talking about the dog days, my little dog Summer, has started to dig her way out of the yard. I worry cause I don't want her to get lost or hit by a car. I need to find a way to block her from doing this. I really don't want to give her up, but I would much rather do that than have her get injured.

Well, the dog days go on and so will I....

Dependent?...

I think I have become very dependant on the internet to provide me news, email and shopping. I realized how much i nneeded access to the internet earlier this week when my ccomputer fried. Yeah, my refurbished PC died. Oh well, we live and learn. So, anyway I got myself a brand neew Compaq/Hp. I bought this one Brand New! It is actually the very first out of the box unit I have purchase. I don't mean I bought an open box item, what I mean that this one was factory fresh in the box.

When my pc died, I had to go back to the old fashioned way of shopping for something since I could not go online. I used my scellphone and made a few calls. It actually worked out pretty good. The young lady who helped me was an employee of Best Buy. I told her what I was looking for and she immediately suggested the right one. I went later during the day to pick it up and I am very pleased with it.

Now I am back to all my old tricks on the pc. I had to learn a few new things but, I did. Hopefully this unit will last me a few years. I can't see any reason why it would not. I will keep you up to date.

Once upon a time...

When I was about 5 or 6 I remember watching my grampa, my Dad's father, decorate the house for the Christmas Season. He would string these cords of light bulbs in all different colors along the top of the fence and along the banister. Then he would come inside and place more cords whith bulbs in the inside frame of the frontroom windows. After he made sure all the bulbs worked, which was a job in itself, since you had to go one by one til you found which was blown, it was time to assemble the tree. Yes, assemble. He had a beautiful white Christmas tree. This tree had 3 sections which fit into each other. Once the tree was up he would then place this circular dish which had plastic lenses in greeen, yellow, red, green and I think blue. This dish had a light bulb on the inside so when he plugged it in, it would start turning and as it did it would light up the tree in all the different colors. It was a sight-to-see! Now he was done. He would go outside and admire his work. I would go with him and I remember how beautiful I thought it all looked. I remember later in life when I would go to peoples homes and notice that they had natural, or live, Christmas trees in their homes, and I would think how none of these could compare with the one my grampa put up...

Things I always wanted to ask...

My mom and I would always talk about her childhood so I felt pretty good about knowing her past, but as for my dad, that is another story. I don't know why but he and i never spoke to much about his childhood. Sure I knew some stuff about him but I was feeling the need to knoe more. I did not know how to approach him on this subject, so I started by asking him to describe his home. He started by telling me that before he was born when his mom, my grandma, was expecting a child my grampa had left and had not returned for months. He was found by his father in a nearby town with nothing but the clothes on his back. He had gambled and drank everything he had to his name. My grandma was holding down the fort. She had managed to buy a little wooden shack where she lived. My grampa was brought home by his father and then my aunt Isabel was born. Apparently my grampa would go on these crazy episodes of drinking and gambling. My grandma would do whatever she could for her and her little girl.

Apparently my grandfather would come around and stay long enough for my grandma to get pregnant since now she was expecting my father. He goes on to tell me how they lived in that little hut till he was about 7 years old. After that they moved into a slightly larger wooden hut. These huts were made of wood and they had shutters for windows and a tin roof. My dad, when he was old enough to do so he would go to a bakery and buy loaves of bread which he then sold or traded for eggs or anything else he could get for the family.

My grandfather then was working the sugar cane. My dad would help by milking the cow, delivering the milk, selling his bread and going to school. Aside from that he had to take his father lunch and coffee wherever he was working. Not much of a childhood when compared to todays standards.

After a few years they were able to get a home through a government project. This was an adobe home. It still had a tin roof, but it was a far cry from the first home he had.

Life was not easy and as he told me he and his sister always had to be on the watch for when their dad came home drunk. They would hide under the kitchen table or wherever they could. As my father puts it, my grampa would go crazy whenever he got drunk and he would pick a fight with anyone. And as my dad pointed out, my grampa had his machete very well sharpened at all times. Not someone you would want to cross paths with.

I can clearly see that my dad has always been a very hard worker. He may not know how to do many things but what he does he does with all his heart. I admire who he was and who he is....