I am learning...

Yes, I am still learning at the age of 55. The difference now is the way I look at things. I can honestly say that I know myself better than I did a few years ago. I know much more clearly what my breaking point is and I am better equipped emotionally to handle situations. In my personal life I know what I can control and what I cannot. Among the things I cannot and will not control are other peoples actions. Whether their actions, or for that matter inactions, have an effect on my life. I cannot control what people say or do, and I really don't want to anyway. I much rather spend my energy becoming the best person I can be, not only for myself, but for those around me who may look at me as an example in their lives. I have five granddaughters who I love very much and who love me in return. I am their grandpa and I know they look up to me and I WILL NOT! let them down as long as it is in my power. My youngest son is 24 and pretty much on his own, but also with him I am careful not to effect how he looks at me as his father. I hope to help him in anyway I can so he reaches his full potential. My other 3 children have made their own lives apart from mine and I am very proud of them, and I am very blessed that even though they have lives of their own they have allowed me to be a part of their lives and family.

People still do things which shock me and even hurt me, but I have a different way of handling those situations. I try to be as objective as possible and I try not to judge. I may not agree with certain things but I know enough to keep my thoughts to myself. If their is one thing I have learned in life it is the fact that you can speak to a person about anything at all, and if they choose to ignore you that is their choice, regardless of the cost. I would say one can speak til they are blue in the face and if the other person does not want to hear it, then you wasted much energy on nothing. That is where the difference has come in my life, I still try to help those who want or ask for my help, but I no longer volunteer my help or viewpoint when not asked to do so. It actually has made me a stronger person. I am much more in control of my thoughts and actions. I decide what is best for me, I no longer allow others decisions or lack there of, to affect how I will act. It is a work in progress, I must say, since I am often faced with situations which are not your normal life ones. Especially on those occasions do I need to be extra mindful of my reactions, since I know others are waitin to see how and if I will act. I have found that many times the best thing to do is to do nothing. If it is not something I can or care to control, it is best not to even try. This especially holds true when it comes to bad decisions or poor judgement on the part of others, this can be very touchy and it is best not to volunteer opinions or even to express "would haves" and "should haves." As I said, I am stronger and smarter now. I strive to live and let live. I am happy with my decisions and hope to continue on my course to self-improvement and I hope that with them I also reap peace and happiness.....