I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but that is fine. I however, do believe that to a very large extent, we do control what does and does not happen. Yes, many things happen in everyones life which are of the unexpected or even shocking nature, and while there was nothing we could do to prevent these from happening, their sure is something we can do afterwards. Do we need to change drastically? Maybe, it all depends on what we aim to accomplish and how much we a willing to allow what has happened to have a positive or negative affect on our lives. We can sit down and wait for things to change, get better, or we can take steps to make it so. That is how we do and should have control over what happens from this moment on. Most likely there is not a damn thing we can do to completely erase the negative effects of the bad incident, but we should not allow it to linger in our system and cause more pain and damage then it already has.
So, Chear Up! There is a beautiful and clear tomorrow. Just give it all you have and be totally focused on achieving something good for yourself. You will feel great about it and you will learn from it. Chances are that you will be a much better person for having put up a fight for yourself. And if nobody notices, what the hell, you know it and that is all that really matters, and you have prepared yourself for the next challenge life throws your way, and believe me, it will....
Monday, September 6, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Summer is winding down...
This summer has been beautiful if you like the hot weather, I do. But now we are entering one of my favorite time of the year, fall. Ever since I was a kid I enjoyed fall the most. I remember that back then I could see a little better when it was cloudy out, and it seemed there were more of those days in fall. I enjoy fall for other reasons also. I love the way everything changes color in preparation for winter. I like the sound of the crackling leaves under my shoes as I walk. I like the way the breeze moves through the house leaving a nice fresh scent. I recall when I was a kid we would burn the leaves and I enjoyed that smell. Some folks still burn the leaves, we don't since it can hurt certain people with upper respitory problems. Ever since I started paying the utility bills back in the '70's, I also like the fact that the electric bill is lower during September and October. I guess that is due to not haveing to run the air, or fans since the weather is so nice.
School starts next week and when I lived in my old neighborhood on Grenshaw, when I was in 6th. and 7th. grade I would go and either buy one of the best hot dogs with fries in Chicago on the corner of Polk and Western, or I would buy my favorite potato sandwich at Willlys on Polk and Leavitt. After a while Willy's closed and then Lulu's started selling the potato sandwich. I still go there to eat them. When I was in 7th. grade I would pay .30 cents for each sandwich. It was poor people food like gravy bread, just add french fries and sometimes pieces of Italian beef come along for the ride. Man oh man I could still eat those everyday if I lived near there. You noticed I stopped at 7th. grade, that is because I skipped 8th. grade as most kids would go to 8th. grade. My friend, whose name I cannot remember, I think it was Pete, and I were selected to complete 8th. grade in summer school. So what normally took a whole school year, we did in 8 weeks. It was a pilot program. We were sent to Crane H.S. with a group of students who had failed 8th. grade. So, there we were the only two latinos with a class of black kids who were not the cream of the crop, to say the least. I guess they intended for the study habits Pete and I had would somehow rub off on them. Well, I don't know if it did or didn't, all I know is that we all passed. The only regret I have is that somehow, someone forgot to inform our teacher that Pete and I were honor students. She thought we were bad kids who just like the rest had failed. She treated us like shit! I recall how she would hit the students with whatever she could. One day she wanted me to give my belt to her so she could hit this black kid who was my friend, so I refused and she made me go to the office where they called my parents and threatened to kick me out of the program. I remember how my father was upset I did not obey my teacher. I still cannot to this day understand how parents could allow teachers to get away with that. Not til I got mad one day and stood up for myself did that teacher ever acknowledge that Pete and I were not there for the same reason as the others. I remember I told her how I was going to prove it to her by getting the highest grade on the Constitution test, which I did, I got a 97 1/2, the highest score in the class. Don't ask me how they came up with that score all I know is that I got it! I did help my fellow students prepare for the test also. You see, as we spent those weeks in the summer together, we all became friends. They were a tuff bunch but they wanted to pass also. I actually enjoyed that summer even with that crazy little black woman teacher. Pete and I would walk to Crane everyday for school. It was quite a walk since it was by jackson and Oakley. I would pick him up since he lived on Ogden Ave. and then we would walk together the rest of the way. On the last day Pete met me by my house. I remember having a blue cap and gown. At that time my mom would have our milk, orange juice and eggs delivered by the Bowan milk company. Well, Pete and I were walking out the door of my house when the milk man drove up. He wanted to know where we were going oll dressed up in our best suits. We told him we were graduating the 8th. grade, and he asked from what school, we told him Crane, and he told us to hop into the milk truch and he gave us a ride to the school. I wonder if anyone else can claim that they were driven to their 8th. grade graduation on a milk truck....
School starts next week and when I lived in my old neighborhood on Grenshaw, when I was in 6th. and 7th. grade I would go and either buy one of the best hot dogs with fries in Chicago on the corner of Polk and Western, or I would buy my favorite potato sandwich at Willlys on Polk and Leavitt. After a while Willy's closed and then Lulu's started selling the potato sandwich. I still go there to eat them. When I was in 7th. grade I would pay .30 cents for each sandwich. It was poor people food like gravy bread, just add french fries and sometimes pieces of Italian beef come along for the ride. Man oh man I could still eat those everyday if I lived near there. You noticed I stopped at 7th. grade, that is because I skipped 8th. grade as most kids would go to 8th. grade. My friend, whose name I cannot remember, I think it was Pete, and I were selected to complete 8th. grade in summer school. So what normally took a whole school year, we did in 8 weeks. It was a pilot program. We were sent to Crane H.S. with a group of students who had failed 8th. grade. So, there we were the only two latinos with a class of black kids who were not the cream of the crop, to say the least. I guess they intended for the study habits Pete and I had would somehow rub off on them. Well, I don't know if it did or didn't, all I know is that we all passed. The only regret I have is that somehow, someone forgot to inform our teacher that Pete and I were honor students. She thought we were bad kids who just like the rest had failed. She treated us like shit! I recall how she would hit the students with whatever she could. One day she wanted me to give my belt to her so she could hit this black kid who was my friend, so I refused and she made me go to the office where they called my parents and threatened to kick me out of the program. I remember how my father was upset I did not obey my teacher. I still cannot to this day understand how parents could allow teachers to get away with that. Not til I got mad one day and stood up for myself did that teacher ever acknowledge that Pete and I were not there for the same reason as the others. I remember I told her how I was going to prove it to her by getting the highest grade on the Constitution test, which I did, I got a 97 1/2, the highest score in the class. Don't ask me how they came up with that score all I know is that I got it! I did help my fellow students prepare for the test also. You see, as we spent those weeks in the summer together, we all became friends. They were a tuff bunch but they wanted to pass also. I actually enjoyed that summer even with that crazy little black woman teacher. Pete and I would walk to Crane everyday for school. It was quite a walk since it was by jackson and Oakley. I would pick him up since he lived on Ogden Ave. and then we would walk together the rest of the way. On the last day Pete met me by my house. I remember having a blue cap and gown. At that time my mom would have our milk, orange juice and eggs delivered by the Bowan milk company. Well, Pete and I were walking out the door of my house when the milk man drove up. He wanted to know where we were going oll dressed up in our best suits. We told him we were graduating the 8th. grade, and he asked from what school, we told him Crane, and he told us to hop into the milk truch and he gave us a ride to the school. I wonder if anyone else can claim that they were driven to their 8th. grade graduation on a milk truck....
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What kind of friend are you...
That is not a trick question, but it can be a difficult one to answer. The first obvious answer to most of us is 'a good friend' or even 'a great friend'. Whose standards are we basing our answer on? We might be looking at the kind of friends others make, and compared to them we are great friends, but are those the standards you want to live up to? Apparently their standards really don't meet up to what we feel a friend should be. So, honestly what kind of friend are you...
Only you can answer that soul-searching question. We all have a notion of what makes a good friend.
Is a friend someone who always agrees with us?
Is a friend someone who always says the right thing?
Is a friend someone who remembers all those special occasions?
Is a friend someone you can call at any time of the day or night?
Is a friend someone who brings you chicken soup?
Is a friend someone who laughs at all your jokes?
Is a friend someone who won't tell you your breath doesn't smell to good?
Is a friend someone who forces you to eat even though you are on a diet?
Is a friend someone who reminds you to eat something?
Is a friend someone who allows you to drive just cause you only had a few beers/shots?
Is a friend someone who says they love you?
Is a friend someone who shows you they love you?
Is a friend someone you always want to be around?
Is a friend someone who lets you have your own space?
Is a friend someone who calls you when you are sick?
Is a friend someone who calls you when someone dies?
Is a friend someone who calls you regularly?
Is your husband your friend?
Is your wife your friend?
Is your child your friend?
Is your parent your friend?
Is your pet your friend?
How much can you tell a friend?
How much can a friend tell you?
I can go on and on, but you get the point. It is not so easy to say if someone is a good friend or a casual friend.
One thing we can do is to set our own standards as to what kind of friend we want to be and to whom...Then we can work hard at achieving this. Remember that to be a good friend you don't need a lot of money or a lot of material things to offer, and remember that who you are should be just enough. If you want to make a a person your remodeling project so they can be a good friend to you, then you aren't a good friend to have, and the opposite is true also, if someone is wanting to change us because they feel we would then fit their mold, then they are not a friend worth pursuing.
Only you can answer that soul-searching question. We all have a notion of what makes a good friend.
Is a friend someone who always agrees with us?
Is a friend someone who always says the right thing?
Is a friend someone who remembers all those special occasions?
Is a friend someone you can call at any time of the day or night?
Is a friend someone who brings you chicken soup?
Is a friend someone who laughs at all your jokes?
Is a friend someone who won't tell you your breath doesn't smell to good?
Is a friend someone who forces you to eat even though you are on a diet?
Is a friend someone who reminds you to eat something?
Is a friend someone who allows you to drive just cause you only had a few beers/shots?
Is a friend someone who says they love you?
Is a friend someone who shows you they love you?
Is a friend someone you always want to be around?
Is a friend someone who lets you have your own space?
Is a friend someone who calls you when you are sick?
Is a friend someone who calls you when someone dies?
Is a friend someone who calls you regularly?
Is your husband your friend?
Is your wife your friend?
Is your child your friend?
Is your parent your friend?
Is your pet your friend?
How much can you tell a friend?
How much can a friend tell you?
I can go on and on, but you get the point. It is not so easy to say if someone is a good friend or a casual friend.
One thing we can do is to set our own standards as to what kind of friend we want to be and to whom...Then we can work hard at achieving this. Remember that to be a good friend you don't need a lot of money or a lot of material things to offer, and remember that who you are should be just enough. If you want to make a a person your remodeling project so they can be a good friend to you, then you aren't a good friend to have, and the opposite is true also, if someone is wanting to change us because they feel we would then fit their mold, then they are not a friend worth pursuing.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Growing up in Brighton Park..
That is actually an under statement, growing up in Brighton Park was seeing life as i had never seen it before. Yes, i came from a rougher part of the city, but that did not mean I had done everything. Actually i had done very little. Yes, i did stuff around the house and I learned how to protect myself, and I learned the value of money. But I new nothing about love. Yes, i thought I loved that one girl but did I? Did I even know what love was, did she? I cannot answer for her since I heard that girls develop at about 4 years over the male of the same age, so I could say i new nothing of love but maybe she did. Well, now that I think of it, she must have since she went to Texas and got hitched.
Well, there was this girl in the neighborhood who became friends with my sister, she would come over and so would her brother. Her brother and I became friends, we still are. I really did not pay too much attention to her since I was not allowed to date, and I was not allowed to associate with those of another religion. She however apparently liked me. On one occasion she came over with her friends looking for my sister, my sister was not home but before I had a chance to say anything they were in my house, more than that, they were in my bedroom and her friend Anna Silva, had found the wedding invite and letter from Texas. I did not know til she was reading it aloud. Oh well, that was that.
As I became friendly with that girls brother, I went to there house. it seemed that she was always there, no matter what we were doing. After a while I did start to notice her in a different way. But I did not say anything since I felt out of my league. I had noticed one thing about this area which was different from my old neighborhood, that was that boys and girls were hanging out more and dating each other more. You would see them kissing in public and that only led one to expect other activity behind closed doors. i was not ready for that. I really did not know anything about sex and french kissing and all that stuff. You see, my sister and I were not allowed to watch any movies which contained any kissing and of course we were not allowed to go to the show, where I know many saw this and more on the screen as they practiced with their date in the dark show.
Well, things changed and rather quickly. I won't go into detail but that girl became the mother of my children and my wife. You see in my case my first love was really my true love. I now knew the difference in how I felt for this girl. Anyway in March of 1974 she and I were wedd. In October of that year, 45 days before her 15th. birthday and 51 days before my 19th. birthday our first child was born. A little girl with her mother's green eyes. Our second child did not come until 6 years later. We wanted to enjoy our baby. Yes, I recieved punishment from my church elders. i say that because they will have you believe that the punishment comes from God. But all I saw from God was my bride and a beautiful daughter. I was naive back then so I played by man-made rules. I was disfellowshiped from the church. I guess Catholic would call it excommunicated. Whatever you call it I was and after my daughter was born i was deemed fit to be a member again.
I was really in love with my life now. i truly loved my wife. And we were both crazy over our baby. I never imagined that the move from Grenshaw and from 26th. would mean so many life shaping changes for me....
Well, there was this girl in the neighborhood who became friends with my sister, she would come over and so would her brother. Her brother and I became friends, we still are. I really did not pay too much attention to her since I was not allowed to date, and I was not allowed to associate with those of another religion. She however apparently liked me. On one occasion she came over with her friends looking for my sister, my sister was not home but before I had a chance to say anything they were in my house, more than that, they were in my bedroom and her friend Anna Silva, had found the wedding invite and letter from Texas. I did not know til she was reading it aloud. Oh well, that was that.
As I became friendly with that girls brother, I went to there house. it seemed that she was always there, no matter what we were doing. After a while I did start to notice her in a different way. But I did not say anything since I felt out of my league. I had noticed one thing about this area which was different from my old neighborhood, that was that boys and girls were hanging out more and dating each other more. You would see them kissing in public and that only led one to expect other activity behind closed doors. i was not ready for that. I really did not know anything about sex and french kissing and all that stuff. You see, my sister and I were not allowed to watch any movies which contained any kissing and of course we were not allowed to go to the show, where I know many saw this and more on the screen as they practiced with their date in the dark show.
Well, things changed and rather quickly. I won't go into detail but that girl became the mother of my children and my wife. You see in my case my first love was really my true love. I now knew the difference in how I felt for this girl. Anyway in March of 1974 she and I were wedd. In October of that year, 45 days before her 15th. birthday and 51 days before my 19th. birthday our first child was born. A little girl with her mother's green eyes. Our second child did not come until 6 years later. We wanted to enjoy our baby. Yes, I recieved punishment from my church elders. i say that because they will have you believe that the punishment comes from God. But all I saw from God was my bride and a beautiful daughter. I was naive back then so I played by man-made rules. I was disfellowshiped from the church. I guess Catholic would call it excommunicated. Whatever you call it I was and after my daughter was born i was deemed fit to be a member again.
I was really in love with my life now. i truly loved my wife. And we were both crazy over our baby. I never imagined that the move from Grenshaw and from 26th. would mean so many life shaping changes for me....
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Doing something nice for yourself...
I know some of you want me to continue with the story of my life, I left off speaking of my first broken heart. But, I will continue that on another post, today I want to write about doing something for myself.
I had a bedroom set which my former wife and I had purchased on Feb. 14, 1982. It lasted quite a long time. Twenty eight years to be exact. Well, I should rephrase that, I had it for 28 years since I gave it away to a young lady and I hope it gives her and her children a few mor years. I really did not want to part with it since there were so many memories behind that furniture, but one has to let go. Just to mention one of my memories, our children would come into our room and ask us a question about their homework and they would use the tops of the dresser and chest to rest their paper and books and write the answers. I am pretty sure that their are still some pencil marks on the tops of those pieces.
But, I bought a new bed for myself and the last thing left was the dresser and mirror, so I gave it away and bought a gift for myself. i got a 5 drawer chest to match my bed. The bed is leather and the chest is espresso. I really like what I picked out. The dresser I found online at The Room Place. I had bought a sofa from them a few years back and I was and still am pleased with it, so when I could not find a chest which I liked at the store I went to, I decided to shop online. As you know I cannot see so I count on a read or written description of what I buy. I really liked the detailed description and I like the fact that it is constructed of wood. It is very well made and the finish is really nice. So while a chest might not sound like a big deal to you, it is for me. I don't need elaborate things to make me happy, I am a simple guy with simple needs.
I had a bedroom set which my former wife and I had purchased on Feb. 14, 1982. It lasted quite a long time. Twenty eight years to be exact. Well, I should rephrase that, I had it for 28 years since I gave it away to a young lady and I hope it gives her and her children a few mor years. I really did not want to part with it since there were so many memories behind that furniture, but one has to let go. Just to mention one of my memories, our children would come into our room and ask us a question about their homework and they would use the tops of the dresser and chest to rest their paper and books and write the answers. I am pretty sure that their are still some pencil marks on the tops of those pieces.
But, I bought a new bed for myself and the last thing left was the dresser and mirror, so I gave it away and bought a gift for myself. i got a 5 drawer chest to match my bed. The bed is leather and the chest is espresso. I really like what I picked out. The dresser I found online at The Room Place. I had bought a sofa from them a few years back and I was and still am pleased with it, so when I could not find a chest which I liked at the store I went to, I decided to shop online. As you know I cannot see so I count on a read or written description of what I buy. I really liked the detailed description and I like the fact that it is constructed of wood. It is very well made and the finish is really nice. So while a chest might not sound like a big deal to you, it is for me. I don't need elaborate things to make me happy, I am a simple guy with simple needs.
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