There is a difference...

As life goes on we learn many new things. Some we learn because we want to and others we learn from our mistakes. I have found that some of the best things I have learned are things I have learned and discovered about myself as a person. I thought I new myself pretty well, but I have noticed some attributes I have which I am just beginning to discover.

I however worry a little that some may view some of these as weakness instead of strength. But no matter what others may feel or think of my actions, it is what I feel which really matters.

There are situations in life where we can react with anger and hate, or with calmness and unerstanding and love. I know that there is a place for anger and hate but there is a fine line where we need to consider each situation as unique and not bunch all things together. For example, if someone I love is hurt by another person, intentionally that is, I feel anger and hate. If on the other hand someone wrongs me, I calmly think about the matter and weigh the pros and cons of my reactions.

I find that we can be of help to others, especially those we love, if we are calm and understaning and don't judge and demand answers. Odds are that under such situations much more is accomplished when discussed in a later occasion when all have had time to reflect and objectively think of what should and could be done to avoid such bad situations from occuring again. When we love someone we want to help them, not destroy them. Yes, I know that at times some need to be jerked back into re ality when they are on a road to self-destruction. But even then we can actually alienate that person if we aren't carefull and then our chances to help them and to demonstrate our love for them is hampered, if not totally destroyed.

I feel at peace with myself and I believe that is helping me to cope with the pain and anger I have. I am only human after all. I will continue to do my best to grow as a person and hopefully I can be of help to those I love and to good people in the world who may need my help and understanding.
May God Bless us all, and bring vengeance against those who are evil....

When I was younger...

When I was younger let's say about 10, I used to believe that the world was going to end soon. I never thought I would be here at the age of 55. I did not know that anyone alive then would still be around. I should qualify that by saying those who weren't of a certain religion, would not be around. I was not baptized into that religion yet so I did not count myself among the survivors of a world destruction. I took care of that when I turned 11 by getting baptized into that religion. It sure was a lot for a kid of 10 years of age to worry about, but I was taught to believe and accept such things.

I did learn many good things which protected me from harm, but I also lived a very sheltered and scary childhood. I was guilty of raising my children in a similar way. I was not however, as strict as my father was. My oldest two got the toughest part of it. I did allow them to have friends and to have fun. I tried not to scare them into getting baptized. My oldest daughter did see the need to get baptized before entering High School. My oldest son did not get baptized and that is fine. My younger two got it much easier since my thinking was changeing with every year that went by. I still wanted my children to have a solid foundation but, I did not believe that only by being a member of a certain religion could this be achieved. And I was right! My four children are great adults who have good principles and beliefs. They do believe in a God, but in their own way, not one dictated by me or other men. I am very proud of my children and I thank God for giving me the wisdom to do a good job, along with their mom, to raise pretty sound adults.

Well, the world is still here and so am I 45 years later. I hope to be around much longer! I love being alive and I love people. I love people of all colors and backgrounds and beliefs. I believe in a God who loves all people and views us all as his children. I have reached a part in my life which I hope will stay with me forever. I am at peace with myself. I am not perfect and I have made mistakes and sinned many times. But as a father I also believe my Heavenly Father loves me and will forgive me and help me to extend a hand to someone in need or provide a smile to brighten someones day. I only ask that I am blessed as I have been for the rest of my life....

Chance...

Chance is the name of my new dog. No, I did not give him that name, his original owners did. But it turns out to be a great name. You see I adopted him from Illinois Doberman Rescue and I had adopted a Doberman from them about two years ago and I returned him to IDR, and their policies are pretty strict so they drop you from the approved list when you return a dog after the two week probation period. I did not know I had been dropped until I expressed interest in Chance only to be told I was not on the approved list any longer.

While I do understand rules I did not fully agree with them and in a very kind manner asked them to reconsider my qualifications. They did and decided to give me a second chance, now with Chance.

He is pretty cool. He is a blue dobe. His color is actually a silver-blue with the normal tan markings of a dobe. He is one and a half years old. He is very gentle and listens well. He is not as hyper as Baron my other dobe was. He is a big boy at about 70lbs. He is really good in the house and outside. I hope he works out. I have always had a weakness for large dogs and Dobes and Rotts are my favorite.

I new from the get go that this guy had a great temperment. When my granddaughters met him it was as if he knew them all his life. He shows no aggression toward people or other dogs. My MinPin Summer, growls at him and took all of his bones and he just lets her get away with it.

He has a great bark and he will bark at people who come to the front door, but once they are inside he is calm. I think he is going to be fine with me. He reminds me of our Rott Oso.

Joy in my World...

You know I have not written much lately but I feel the need to record the latest happenings in my life.

There has ben a mixture of sadness and happiness. I will start with the sad. My granddaughter Lauryn fractured a bone in her leg when a kid fell on her during gym. She is in a cast and expected to make a full recovery. I however hate when stuff like that happens. I don't want any of my babies to be in any kind of pain. Then my other granddaughter, Malaya, also fractured a bone in her arm when she fell while playing at school. She had to go to the hospital to get it snapped into place. She is also in a cast and will make a full recovery. I hated the thought of her having to deal with such horrible pain. May God Bless my babies and help them recover quickly.

Now for some good news! Naomi and Melecio, my daughter and Son-in-law got a home of their own. it is in Bollingbrook. IL. It is a real nice home with enough rooms and space for their family. The yard is big and Private. No it does not have a privacy fence, but there is no alley, for me that is privacy. and one less thing to worry about. I know they will do well there cause it took a lot of work and effort to get the home, so they will do all it takes to keep it.

My son Anthony filled all our families weekend with joy when he proposed marriage to his beautiful girlfriend, Irina. We are all so very happy and proud. We all want the best for Anthony and Irina is the BEST! I really love that young lady, and her family are great people. Her mom Marina, dad Gene, and brother Vitali,are special people. They are as loving and kind as their daughter. Her grandma Luba, is a beautiful woman who displays warmth and love. Leon her husband is a super kind person also. I have not known many Russian people in my life, but Irina, her family and friends are definitely the Cream Of The Crop. They are the kind of people I could spend hours with for hours at a time and not get bored or lose interest. They are so genuine. God Bles them all.

We all met at an engagement party my son had for all of us. It was beautiful. The people, as I mentioned, were the best, the food was the best, and my son and future wife were and are the best!!

Decisions, decisions....

Which would you say are the hardest decisions to make? The ones which only involve you, or the ones which outcome affects others?

It is not as easy as it seems to answer that question. At least it is not for me. When I am the only one who will feel the pros or cons of a decision I make, or for that matter don't make, I would say the risk are easier to take, But, there is the problem, unless we live in a cave or and island all by ourselves, very few things we do affect just ourselves. I do know some people who don't subscribe to that idea or belief and perhaps they are wiser than I am. Many I believe will make the best decision as they see it and let the chips fall where they may. I on the other hand make every decision a big one, perhaps even bigger than it deserves to be, thinking of how it will affect those around me. If the effect could always be a positive one, then the decision is a given, but when that outcome is not as clear...

Sometimes we have no choice but to make a decision and hope for the best outcome for all involved. Those decisions however, are not easy or hard as it were, since we don't have more than one option or choice in that particular matter.

Am I making things harder than they are? Maybe.

Don't worry...

It is easy to say but one of the most difficult things in life to do, or better yet, not do, that is to worry. We all worry about different things but the outcome of our worry, or the final results are very similar if not the same.

We worry until we make ourselves physically sick and our worry did not put a dent in our problem at all. Or was it a problem? Many of us worry about things that have not yet happened, or will ever happen. We worry about things not even knowing if the outcome of a certain situation might not be a positive one for us instead of the horror we think it will bring.

I know that there is nothing I can say to stop you from worrying, but I will try to help you see how planning ahead can help our worries to become less frustrating. If we plan ahead for a situation, when it comes, if it ever does, we will be better equipped to meet it head-on. You see all the worry in the world without any positive action on our part will accomplish nothing at all, while a little planning can, and often does, bring a positive solution to our problem.

One thing I have descovered through the years has been that some of the things I've worried about never happened, and many of the other things did happen, but with a much better outcome than I could have ever hoped for.

So Think about it...what are you worrying about today...wil your worry change it on little bit...

Superman?

I am going back to when I was about 8 or 9 years of age. As you know by now I lived on the West Side of Chicago. I was thinking of this old man who owned a shoe repair store on Roosevelt Rd. This was, and still is, a main street in Chicago. Well The street I lived on shared the same alley with Roosevelt Rd. I would occasionally vist this shoe store just to watch while he made shoes look like new again. I guess it was cheaper back then to re-sole or to have new heels put on a pair of shoes instead of going and buying a new pair. I was thinking of one day in particular. It was early summer. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon. I remember the time because Clark Kent would come on tv as Superman. This was the black and white version of Superman. I always watched this show. On this particular day I recall hearing a lot of sirens close to the back of our house so I ran outside, as everyone else did. I ran to where the crowd was gathered just to find out that the shoe man and his wife had been robbed and shot to death. I remember wondering how great it would be if Superman was real and he could come and find the person or persons who had done this horrible thing. You see, he never allowed anyone in to the shop unless he knew them, that is why I was allowed to go there. Since the police did not find the door broken, they figured it was no stranger who did this. I don't remember if anyone was ever caught. It was pretty sad since these people were part of our neighborhood. You see back then most of the store fronts had an apartment in back or upstairs where the owners of the shop or store would live. This old man and his wife lived behind the store. I want to say his name was Joe, I can't be sure. He was a white man, Jewish I think. He would always let me buff some of the shoes before the customers would come to pick them up. I did not get paid for this but I enjoyed doing it and I enjoyed being in his shop and watching everything he did. He was a master at his job!

So anyways Superman never payed my neighborhood a visit.